When I was an Army major serving on a Division Staff, my team was responsible for planning operations for the division in Afghanistan. The challenge was coordinating the myriad troops and functions so that the operation would run smoothly. Getting fires, maneuver, logistics, intelligence, and control systems to all work together could be difficult at best. The leaders responsible for each of these functions often saw different ways to accomplish the mission, and planning was as much about resolving the conflicts between different commands and staff sections as it was about coordinating operations in space and time.
This was a huge challenge, and many issues went unresolved. Intelligence leaders and operations planners would disagree about how to interpret intelligence reports. Aviation and artillery professionals would argue about the best way to neutralize a target. And the logistics team always wanted more time.
Unfortunately, we often compromised. Sometimes we went acquiesced to the highest ranking person’s opinion. Occasionally we reached “consensus” which is just another way of saying that everyone was disappointed. Sometimes the loudest or most logical argument won. Sometimes we just “agreed to disagree” which meant that the operation would likely be disjointed as the compromised solution meant that each staff would sort of do their own thing, only contributing the minimum effort to the operation since they weren’t fully on board.
Our Chief of Staff wanted all conflict to be resolved before any plan was presented to the commanding general. No dissent or argument was allowed during senior leader briefings. This was likely the most destructive practice I observed in my three-decade career. Conflict avoidance kept us from being our best as a team.
Many leaders fall into this trap. They see conflict as something that erodes the sense of teamwork and cooperation. They move quickly to “resolve” the conflict – often by diffusing the situation and sending the combatants to neutral corners.
This approach won’t help the company or the team members grow. In fact, conflict avoidance typically has some disastrous side effects:
Decreased Innovation: A culture of avoidance stifles creativity and new ideas, as people are hesitant to challenge the status quo.
Reduced Employee Morale: Unresolved conflicts can lead to frustration, resentment, and decreased job satisfaction.
Damaged Relationships: Conflict avoidance can erode trust and damage working relationships.
Poor Decision Making: Important issues may be swept under the rug, leading to suboptimal decisions.
Increased Stress: Suppressing emotions and avoiding difficult conversations can contribute to increased stress levels.
Loss of Talent: High-performing individuals may leave an organization due to a toxic conflict-avoidant culture
Inexperienced and risk-averse leaders often quell arguments just when they’re getting interesting. Instead of a “can’t we all just get along” posture, great leaders lean into the danger and use healthy conflict to help people and the company grow.
But creating a culture where conflict is healthy and useful doesn’t happen by accident. It takes vigilance from leaders who understand the nature of conflict in the organization.
Conflicts arise from various sources such as miscommunication, differing values, power struggles, egos, and personal grievances.
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Promote Open Communication: Candidness needs to be a Core Value
And when I say “open” I mean really, really candid communication. When something is bothering an employee or keeping them from being their best, they have a duty to speak up. And their teammates and leaders have an obligation to listen. This isn’t a license to whine about comfort issues, but to engage in meaningful dialogue about real issues in an appropriate way so we can resolve them. This can only happen if everybody learns to give and receive feedback in a candid and caring way. This can be achieved by:
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Regular Meetings: Schedule regular one-on-one and team meetings to discuss any emerging issues.
- Safe Environment: Create a safe space where employees feel comfortable sharing their thoughts without fear of retribution.
- Active Listening: Practice active listening to understand the underlying concerns and emotions involved.
By fostering open communication, you can reduce misunderstandings and resolve issues before they cause real problems.
- Develop Conflict Management Skills
As a leader, honing your conflict management skills is crucial. This includes:
- Empathy: Understand and consider the perspectives and emotions of all parties involved. By understanding the emotional side of the issue you can help teammates find the usefulness of differing opinions or positions.
- Patience: Take the time to thoroughly understand the conflict before jumping to conclusions or solutions.
- Decisiveness: Focus on the problem and make decisions promptly when the solution is evident. Help your team see the value of the conflict in producing great solutions.
Invest in training and development programs that focus on conflict management skills for executives. This will equip you with the tools needed to handle conflicts effectively.
- Implement Structured Conflict Resolution Techniques
Having a structured approach to conflict resolution can help leaders get the most out of healthy conflict. Techniques to consider include:
- Mediation: Act as a neutral mediator to help both parties explore and appreciate each others’ positions.
- Dialogue: Explore advanced techniques of idea exchange such as the Bohm Dialogue that helps create a shared understanding between the group.
- Establish Ground Rules for healthy disagreement that focuses on issues, not personalities.
Structured techniques ensure that conflicts are used to help the organization and teammates learn and grow..
- Encourage Team Collaboration
Promote a culture of healthy conflict and collaboration where team members work together towards common goals. This can be achieved through:
- Creating opportunities for conflict: Design team activities or exercises that promote different perspectives.
- Collaborative Projects: Assign projects that require teamwork, and deliberately arrange to have people with differing views work together to solve tough challenges.
- Demand Candidness and Transparency: Never accept gossip or unshared opinions to gain traction behind the scenes. Insist that people work through differing opinions openly and honestly.
A candid culture increases the likelihood of healthy conflicts and promotes a cohesive team spirit.
- Address Issues Promptly
Do not let conflicts fester. Address issues as soon as they arise to prevent them from escalating. This involves:
- Immediate Action: Don’t kick the can down the road by ignoring conflict. Take prompt action to get the most out of each opportunity.
- Clear Policies: Implement clear policies and procedures for conflict resolution.
- Regular Check-ins: Conduct regular check-ins with your team to identify and exploit potential issues early.
Prompt action demonstrates your commitment to maintaining a healthy, candid culture.
- Foster Emotional Intelligence
No matter how good we get at using conflict in a healthy, positive way, emotions will occasionally erupt. Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a significant role in keeping things on track. As a leader, develop your EI by:
- Self-Awareness: Be aware of your emotions and how they impact your decision-making.
- Self-Regulation: Manage your emotions effectively to remain calm and composed during conflicts.
- Social Skills: Build strong relationships with your team to create a supportive environment.
High EI enables you to handle conflicts with empathy and understanding, and helps you make decisions that are unemotional and in the best interest of the company.
- Provide Conflict Training
Equip your team with the skills they need to positively exploit conflicts independently. Offer training sessions that cover:
- Communication Skills: Teach effective communication techniques to express thoughts and feelings clearly and candidly.
- Problem-Solving Skills: Develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills to address conflicts constructively.
- Emotional Intelligence: Enhance emotional intelligence to manage emotions during conflicts.
Training empowers your team to handle conflicts independently, reducing the burden on leadership.
- Lead by Example
Your behavior sets the tone for your team. Demonstrate effective conflict resolution by:
- Model behavior: Lead by example, showing how to disagree constructively.
- Transparency: Be transparent in your decision-making process and explain your actions to the team.
- Accountability: Take responsibility for your actions and your decisions. Demand that your team do the same.
Leading by example creates a culture of accountability and respect, essential for any successful company.
- Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
When resolving conflicts, focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. This involves:
- Constructive Feedback: Provide feedback that focuses on behaviors and solutions, not personal attacks.
- Solution-Oriented Discussions: Guide discussions toward identifying solutions and action steps.
- Positive Reinforcement: Recognize and reward efforts to resolve conflicts constructively.
A solution-oriented approach fosters a positive and productive work environment. Of course, some conflict arises because of a lack of accountability or team members not abiding by the values of the company. This one is easy: those people who aren’t living up to our values have to find somewhere else to work.
- Evaluate and Improve Conflict Strategies
Regularly evaluate your strategies to identify where leaders are stifling positive conflict. This includes:
- Feedback: Solicit feedback from your team on the effectiveness of positive conflict throughout the company.
- Review Outcomes: Assess the outcomes of resolved conflicts to identify patterns and areas for improvement.
- Continuous Improvement: Implement changes based on feedback and review to enhance your conflict strategies. Continuous improvement ensures that your conflict processes remain effective and relevant.
When our Division Staff mentioned above got a new leadership team, healthy conflict became the norm. The new Commanding General insisted on debate and candid dialogue, He prohibited sterile briefings where everyone agreed. He set aside specific times to bring together people with differing views where rank carried no weight. Everyone was expected to speak candidly and passionately about whatever the topic was.
The team got used to this dynamic and learning accelerated. The General got to hear all sides of an issue and he learned about aspects of it he would otherwise have missed. IT became a great work environment where everyone was comfortable disagreeing and providing feedback in a constructive way.
Conflict avoidance masks truth. Pollyannaish “harmonious workplace” efforts ask people to suppress their real opinions and hide valuable ideas.
Managing conflict is a critical skill for leaders. For sure, leaders need to stamp out silly bickering among employees, but this can’t be done by stifling it. That just drives it underground. Creating a healthy culture comes from candidly exploiting conflict and helping our employees approach every disagreement as a learning opportunity.
And leaders need to lead the way.
By promoting open communication, developing conflict management skills, implementing structured techniques, encouraging collaboration, addressing issues promptly, fostering emotional intelligence, providing training, leading by example, focusing on solutions, and continuously improving strategies, leaders can maintain harmony and foster a positive work environment.
These techniques not only help you exploit healthy conflicts but also build a foundation for long-term success and growth.
Embrace these strategies to become a more effective leader and create a workplace where everyone thrives. Your ability to manage and exploit conflicts will not only enhance your leadership but also inspire your team to achieve excellence.
By incorporating these conflict strategies into your leadership approach, you can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and innovation. Remember, effective leadership is about navigating challenges with confidence and fostering a culture of candidness based on cooperation and respect.
Ready to take a new look at how to make conflicts in your company part of your healthy culture? Book a call with 5 Eagles Leadership today! Book your call now!
